outfits outfits outfits

I spent $40 on this (2008)

criticalfailing — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 23:40:17 +0000

This post is a requiem. I’m gonna cull this orange thing, whose surprisingly flattering color (the photo lies) initially hid the fact that it’s way, way too unstructured and sacklike. Belt it, and it becomes a sack with a belt. The material dissolves into thick solid wrinkles. It’s one of those miraculous American Apparel creations that somehow manages to be both dowdy and too risqué to wear without substantial scaffolding that renders it even dowdier. You can do better.

Then again, when you buy something called the “Le Sac dress,” you should know what’s happening.

Soft focus

criticalfailing — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 01:41:02 +0000

I love this skirt. Not always easy to style, but it’s fun to wear, adaptable (the ties inside can be let down to make a straight circle skirt) and as comfortable as sweatpants. Suitable for all heights and genders!

Yep, that cardigan needs replacing already

criticalfailing — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 23:35:24 +0000

This is a second go at the black-and-white striped look from the other week. That was attempting a matchy thing and failed at it — those weird, uncomfortable socks didn’t even look good. Totally different opacity from the shirt, so the vertical stripes clashed instead of contrasting. Also, the two shirts were already doing so much that it was silly to add more. It’s no use pretending I’m a more-is-more dresser, though I admire those who are.

Frankly, the Fast Lanes are just awkward little socks. I advise you to avoid them if you’re in the market. Get another pair of Extraordinaries instead. I’ve never regretted that decision except for the few times, very early in my ministry, when I’ve succumbed to a gorgeous color combination that has no relevance to any article of clothing that I like to wear. I have a pair in a rich brown and teal, for example, which I think I featured on this blog once and haven’t worn since. They look great, but I’m not the girl who owns a teal dress for these occasions.

Skywalker

criticalfailing — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 00:25:22 +0000

This is a white version of my favorite cardigan; I had the incredible luck to find it this week. Most of the time these drapey cardigans swallow me alive, but not this one.

My partner pointed out that I’m doing a Jedi look today, which makes me wish I’d noticed that and taken it up a notch. I did wear my brown velvet coat. That probably counts, but pix or it didn’t happen, as they say.

Skull! Skull! Skull!

criticalfailing — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 22:01:53 +0000

The purpose of a style blog is to stop having a style blog. Post photos of your clothes; realize what works and what’s only exciting because it’s new; shop like a sniper and wear the correct pieces more often. OOO isn’t dead yet, but I think it’s the agent of its own destruction, which is probably good for my bank account and my head. Anyway, I got this cardigan on Friday.

Two acceptable Scrabble words: SUPERFAST, SUPERSAFE

criticalfailing — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 00:40:18 +0000

Where would I be without these pleated shorts that hang so strangely? I’ll tell you: constantly naked. Nude.

My socks (the Fast Lane OTKs from Sock Dreams) are real tourniquets — I’ve worn worse, but the cuffs are brutal. I’m hoping they stretch out with time, because the field of vertically striped OTKs is even thinner than a person who can wear these socks comfortably. They stay up well, though.

It does say “five-year-old with goth parents” but I’ve accepted that this is my look.

Like the pard

criticalfailing — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 01:44:28 +0000

I have straight-up never owned anything in leopard before, and I like it a good deal, though I’ve also generally hidden this under a hoodie on the principle that a little of it is plenty. The funny thing about leopard is that it sends about twenty possible messages, depending on context (mohawk, bathing suit, bouffant, evening gown, sweatpants with word on the butt), and they’re only tangentially related to each other.

You said I wore coats, and you were not wrong

criticalfailing — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 01:36:06 +0000

I wore those leggings again, but do you blame me? This post is mainly about the coat, though, my Christmas gift to myself, because I’m a good capitalist. I like a good thick beige tweed as much as the next person. Probably more.

A terrible secret:

criticalfailing — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 22:33:44 +0000

I have worn this dress about ten times since I bought it in November. I’ve worn it the exact same way each time, down to the necklace. This is the ur- and uber-outfit, the Outfit of Outfits. It may represent exactly how I feel about myself! Which says, among other things, that my style was formed in the 1990s and has never recovered.

The human condition

criticalfailing — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 00:40:36 +0000

I call this successful pattern-matching. That’s something, because my strengths lie elsewhere, to put it nicely. I think I’ve worked out how the professionals do it: the colors are very close, and the patterns have about the same amount of noise.

New photo strategy, with the camera on the windowsill just as the daylight dies. Aren’t we all like that camera? No. No, that doesn’t mean anything, sorry. Sorry.

The fascinating thing about these leggings is that they’re knitted, but not in this intarsia pattern, which is printed on. Maybe we’re all like these leggings. I don’t even know anymore.